True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
