there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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