whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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