She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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