Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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