Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
