Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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