How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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