I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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