btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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