Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
