Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't deserve a penis
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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