So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
