dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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