I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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