i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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