you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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