So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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