I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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