Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
