so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
