i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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