i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
