addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
