I'd wear matching sweaters with you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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