At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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