And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it's like heaven, but drunker
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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