What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Cover your peen. We're going out.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
