Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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