i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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