My sheets look like a crime scene.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
