Do you still have your period?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
