He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
