Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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