Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
