I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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