i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
