The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
