I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
