So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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