lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize