Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
