marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
