so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize