But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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