My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I enjoy the company of your penis
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