i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
