Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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