Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
