sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
