I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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