There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
