Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize