Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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