yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
