Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
