You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
