remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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