I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
