Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
