there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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